Tessa

Some people journal. I blog with a little more swearing.

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about

Wild-hearted. Well-worn. Always learning. I write to connect, heal and remind us we are never alone in the mess.
Now I don’t need a garage full of cars But I’ll take a whole box of Cuban cigars And I’ll smoke ’em nice and slow Like they were good for me Don’t need a ranch or a big piece of land But I like to get a little bit of dirt on my hands Keith Urban – Little Bit Of everything

Category: Uncategorized

  • Progress.

    I’m writing this later than normal. I am really good at the last minute panic thing. I usually need the control over the last minute panic. I need to put on my headphones, pick out the right music and find the muse.  Some times she doesn’t talk, she whispers, so it’s important to listen. My…

  • Spring.

    The sunshine hits your face and the temperature starts to climb. Spring. She shows up just when you have lost all hope. Winter seems never ending and we all feel that push. We’re in a rush to reach for the sun. I’ve always said Fall is my favorite season. It’s when I was born. I…

  • One.

    “I don’t love you.” He said. Then he said it again. On repeat until I told him to stop. I got up from the sofa and walked away. We had just moved into our house. Just. Moved. In. Two days later he wrote one note and left it on the table for me to find.…

  • Brave.

    When I was 12 years old I learned to drive my mom’s 1966 Buick Skylark two door hard top. It had three on the tree, an iffy clutch and temperamental breaks. That was my first car. I had been upgraded from a tractor, four wheelers, and the ranch pick up I dented (only the tailgate).…

  • Change.

    I wonder if I have some change? Do you have any change? I get to change! I hate change. I change my socks. I change my attitude and my mind daily. Minute by minute some days right? Real life change either gives me the hives or makes my whole day. It’s constant. That’s my dad…

  • Silence.

    My breath sounded loud in my head. One more step. Breathe out. One more step. Breathe in. The rhythm of my feet was the only sound I heard. The gravel road stretched out in front of me. It’s one of those perfect days. When the sun is just beginning to sink and the sky is…

  • Love.

    Sigh. I guess we should talk about it. The four letter word. It’s every where today. It’s on signs, posters, and cards. You can’t escape it. Love. The first time I fell in love, he swept me off my feet. He made my heart beat faster and my eyes twinkle. He had brown eyes and…

  • Decide.

    When I was three years old I decided I wanted to go for a walk. My mom was too pregnant with my sissy to chase me and I was too fast. Screen doors were no match for my three year old self. I just decided. I didn’t ask. I just decided. I found my legs.…

  • Up.

    Flying always tends to give me anxiety. Today I’m in a little Cessna. I am told they are the safest planes. Durable. Reliable. Problem is it’s winter. That means cold and clouds and flying into all of that. I can barely see terra-firma out my window. Let’s not get into the lack of leg space…

  • Mess.

    I am going to go back. I am going to back to the beginning. The beginning of my Mess. We’re friends now right? I can tell you my story. Well, not all of it.  Just the main points. The details take too long and seem a little one sided.  So let’s start with how I…