I’m writing this later than normal. I am really good at the last minute panic thing. I usually need the control over the last minute panic. I need to put on my headphones, pick out the right music and find the muse.  Some times she doesn’t talk, she whispers, so it’s important to listen.

My writing has always been as easy as breathing. I see in pictures and my imagination catches me off guard some days and before I know it I  have written and acted a whole play out in my head.

The problem is with my progress. I start. I start again and I hear my muse and she only takes me so far. I use to think why did that character stop talking to me?

Now I know.

My muse said let me start you; but you have to take it from here.

She was guiding me but also pushing me. I have to say my fear of what I can actually do with my craft stopped my progress.

I could say the same with my health and fitness journey.  I had always been heavy? No that’s not true. I could eat whatever I wanted my whole life and suddenly….stop.  I gained weight. Probably more than I liked to admit. You know how it is.

I lost weight. I did it healthy. I worked out 3 days a week and didn’t eat everything I saw during the day. I was fit and I felt good. Big problem was I didn’t learn to eat. I knew what I liked….mashed potatoes with some gravy and maybe a biscuit. You feel me?!

Then one day two years ago I stopped and I decided not to be scared. I became determined.

I found something that worked for me. I found motivation for me.  I became determined. I decided that I could be who ever I wanted to be.  I found out how to fuel my body, how to eat, and a motivating program that worked for me.  I was determined I wouldn’t let the fear of who I could be stop me.

Two years and  twenty-two pounds still off;  I give myself grace for days I eat all the things, because life is short and I like cheesecake.

Days I can chest press fifty pounds for four sets, I cheer and I am proud of the girl who didn’t give up on herself.

Days I hear the muse and let her talk to me before I tell her she can go, like tonight, that too is progress.