Tessa

Some people journal. I blog with a little more swearing.

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about

Wild-hearted. Well-worn. Always learning. I write to connect, heal and remind us we are never alone in the mess.
Now I don’t need a garage full of cars But I’ll take a whole box of Cuban cigars And I’ll smoke ’em nice and slow Like they were good for me Don’t need a ranch or a big piece of land But I like to get a little bit of dirt on my hands Keith Urban – Little Bit Of everything

Category: Uncategorized

  • Onward.

    My knees hit the floor and I prayed for him to love me. I prayed to be good enough for him. I prayed and I prayed and the door closed. I cried and cried. Her knees hit the floor and she sat and cried and asked why she wasn’t good enough for him? Why didn’t…

  • Growth.

    Growth While we’ve all heard of it. Everyone perceives it differently. So, here’s my take on it. Growth comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone. It will put  you at ease and   test your limits. While I say all of this, here is how I’ve grown to be the person I am, and how…

  • Forward.

    When your life is over…. Or so you think   I remember my son’s first birthday for so many reasons. My firstborn was 1 year old, and it was amazing to watch him grow and celebrate so many milestones. I made him a cake that had several different cars on it, all hand decorated (terribly,…

  • East.

    Don’t pass on the Ginger. “Are you going to get to see your kids today, Is she going to let you” this text will always be ingrained in my mind. That single text meant my marriage was over. 14 years gone right in that second. A text I was never supposed to see, but I…

  • Dance.

    Smitty’s Ode to the House cleaner   As a young pizza-faced drummer boy, my ultimate goal in life was to just live. I really had nothing to live for because I was a product of a very dysfunctional family. My folks divorced when I was 6. I thought it was the end of the world…

  • Fan.

      I was some where between 12 & 14 when I became a fan. My dad had football on the tv. I was sitting there in my orange t shirt cheering for my team. They lost. Again. I got up walked outside and threw my t shirt away. I was done being on the losing…

  • Togetherness.

    I’ve been working on someone else’s dream this week. No that’s not true. It’s our shared plan/ dream. I am so use to being separate that together is sometimes difficult. Togetherness is hard. It’s getting easier as we grow together, but we fight it some days. Relationships are fucking hard. Not one high school love…

  • Direct.

    Direct. That’s my word for 2020. I believe it’s important to pick a word for the year. For my year. I believe it gives my mind a place to focus. Webster’s dictionary defines the word as: to cause to turn, move or follow a straight course; to dominate and determine the course. Direct. I picked…

  • Feels.

    I was yelled at a lot growing up.  Correction. I was hollered at a lot growing up. “Get off that fence.” “Open that gate. NOOOOO….the other gate.” “Put her in. No, let her out….OUT.” I had a pretty good childhood really. If nothing else, I learned the difference between being in trouble and being in…

  • Strait.

    After sitting in the town of Blues, I had to come out some time right? I am not one to sit in the tub for too long. The water gets cold and sooner or later you have to pull the plug and listen to the water drain. That’s what I decided I would do. I…