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Fan.

 

I was some where between 12 & 14 when I became a fan. My dad had football on the tv. I was sitting there in my orange t shirt cheering for my team. They lost. Again. I got up walked outside and threw my t shirt away. I was done being on the losing side. I picked a new team, and little did I know, that losing streak would just as long.

That winning streak though. Man it was glorious. It was the late 80s and they were winning everything. The chemistry was amazing and they just couldn’t miss. It was easy to be a fan.

Three years after I graduated from high school was the last time I would see them win a trophy.

Those lean years are where the growth starts. Because you remember what it was like when everything was going right. It makes you wistful. It makes you want to go back when the losing streak drags on for days or years. Or when the wins come just enough to give you some hope.

In order to win, you have to believe in something bigger than yourself. You have to believe in the person next to you wanting to win as much as you do. It’s a common goal. All it takes is one person to stop believing in the goal for it to fall apart.

Isn’t that something? Just a lack of faith and everything can come undone.

Why is so hard to believe in the win? Is it easier to believe there isn’t enough wins to go around? That you deserve the win but not me?

I was very competitive in sports but I also was just as easy to doubt my ability. When I ran track it was as easy as breathing to me. I could win. If I thought that someone else could be faster, it only made the win sweeter. I believed. I had faith. Even in the loss, I kept the faith.

I also thought the win didn’t belong to me. It belonged to someone else. And that’s where I would fail. My faith in myself was lacking.

A drought of more losses than wins started to teach me a lot of things about myself.

I needed to put in the work. I needed to get my passion and I needed to have more faith.

I had to be dedicated to the grind. I started to pick my head up. I started looking in the mirror and got my belief back.

I started to remember that there is wins for every one. I kicked people off my team that no longer believed or deserved to be there.

I found a coach. I found a mentor. I found a way to win. Every fucking day I get up and I am still dedicated to the grind. I get to work on the play and I adjust my team as needed.

I pulled out my red and gold t shirt and I am reminded that in the middle of the hustle, I can never take my eyes off the prize.

I deserve a win. I am a fan.