Don’t pass on the Ginger.
“Are you going to get to see your kids today, Is she going to let you” this text will always be ingrained in my mind. That single text meant my marriage was over. 14 years gone right in that second. A text I was never supposed to see, but I did. I was heart broken. Was I perfect in my marriage? No. Did I make mistakes? Yes we all do. I felt hopeless. I went through every single emotion. What was I going to do? Who was ever going to love me? How does a 30 something woman even date? Do I feed him and water him? Are they house broke?
At that moment I went into auto pilot. I made sure my kids were okay. What did they need and how can I make this transition easiest for them. My kids were my number one priority. I wanted to make sure they were happy and thriving in life. Needless to say I faked it until I made it.
I was on auto pilot for quite some time.
I will never forget the day I was driving back to Montana from Kansas. I had just spent a week with my family It was a trip I needed, I needed to sit on the couch with my dad and remember exactly who I was, where I came from and find who I truly was again. Because I had lost myself. I lost myself being a wife and a mother. Making sure everyone was taken care of, everyone but myself. I had the radio cranked just cruising along and a song came on. It was “She’s Gonna Make It” by Garth Brooks. I truly listened to the words that day and sang along and I cried, not just tears but full on bawling like a baby. Something clicked. I was going to make it. At that moment it all made sense. I could handle what life threw at me. I was going to make it.
Then one day this Ginger walked into my life. One I wasn’t to sure of. One who seems to always be up for a good time, not serious, a playboy you could say; y the true definition of a roughneck. Ah the roughneck. The type I had sworn off of my whole life right along with bull riders and dirty bikers. They just weren’t for me. They were fun to look at; not the dating type. I decided to give him a chance. I agreed to go have a drink with him.
So on a Thursday night at the end of October we met up at Outback. It was close to his hotel and I was pressed for time. I only had a few hours to kill while the kids were at a youth group event, so we met up for a beer. Little did I know those two beers would change my life.
Change my life for the best adventure yet. It was like two old friends getting together after a few years of being apart. We laughed, we told stories, and it was amazing. It was calm and relaxing. We were comfortable. Not once did the conversation lag, no uncomfortable silence just smooth and natural. After we finished our beers, we said our goodbyes with a hug.
I thought to myself, “I am never going to hear from him again, it was to easy.”
The next day he texted. We talked a little here and there but nothing too exciting. I still wasn’t getting my hopes up. I knew he was going back to work on Tuesday so he would be busy. I just took it all in stride.
Monday night rolled around and he was driving to the rig. He asked if he could call me and I thought “sure why the hell not, not like I have anything going on”.
That night we were on the phone for hours. I am not a phone talker. I say my piece and then I’m done, so for me to talk on the phone for hours with one person still blows my mind. This not only happened Monday night but for every night of his hitch, which is two weeks straight, we would text all day and Face Time for hours on end at night. It was amazing. I’m still not sure what we talked about all day and night. I honestly felt like a teenager. It was a breath of fresh air. Once he finished that first hitch he went home, and then he decided he would drive the 8 hours to Billings to spend a few days with me. He would repeatedly do this every month for a long weekend to visit me and my kids.
I watched my relationship grow with him into something amazing. But I also watched my relationship between him and my kids grow into something I would have never expected.
That summer the kids and I loaded up and drove the 8 hours to North Dakota to meet his family and to see exactly where he lived; where he came from. It was the best 10 days ever. We spent time fishing, hanging out with his family and relaxing. It was exactly what we needed.
Now fast forward to today. I have since moved to a tiny town in North Dakota, literally you blink and you will miss it. We live together Eric, the kids and myself live out in the country just outside of Grace City, North Dakota. The kids are thriving, they love their school and all of the new friends they have made. The kids smile a little, they laugh, they joke and they just enjoy life now. We aren’t so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of big city living. Granted we do miss the quick fast food restaurant from time to time.
Eric goes to work in the oilfield for two weeks on and then he is home for two weeks. We have had our struggles, but we make it through every single day. Because we are a team.
I have finally found my forever person, the person I can let my guard down with, be goofy with,and just be myself. I have found true happiness and true love. I feel so lucky that I get to do this adventure of life with him.