Another trip around the sun. I started my morning with my work out and breakfast made by my favorite guy and personal chef (California style Eggs Benedict). Tonight I will have dinner with my family. It’s my favorite tradition along with my dad calling me and singing happy birthday to me (He will do it for everyone, so if you want on the list let me know.). I will also have my German Chocolate cake. It’s a tradition and it’s my favorite thing. I only get it on my birthday and I enjoy every bite.
I am having a hard time with this one. I can’t really put my finger on what has me in the dumpster about this aging thing. I am grateful and thankful, don’t get me wrong; but I also have a sense that I have let myself down. The only person I am comparing myself is too is the person I was last year.
The goals I set for myself always seem lofty and this year I didn’t dig into any. I have set the goals of writing daily and I putting out this little blog. I have been doing this for two years so I think my goal of writing was achieved.
I am also so hard myself on where I think or what I think my body should look like. I have come to terms with this. I like food. That’s it. That’s the whole glorious problem. After my youth spent not eating healthy enough and getting by with a Rees’ Peanut Butter cup and Dr. Pepper, I have decided to treat myself better. That is probably not an excuse, but it seems to work out when I balance pasta with spinach. My goal for the next year should be portion control, because at this point I am just working out to maintain. Not to lose or gain.
Working out is my habit. I have to frame my mind around that because when I don’t get up and move my body; well, anxiety and depression seep into my day. Every thing becomes harder and throat punching people becomes more tempting. I do it from the comfort of my living room. That’s the best part of my day and my alone time. I understand how important it is for my body but not to the point where I stress it completely out and throw my lower back out: Which I did recently. Nothing will make you more thankful for you health than an injury or sickness. It’s still important to me to have that routine. It makes me feel better about life.
Here’s to 48. I am learning to be braver as I go. I am learning to say no with more conviction. Oddly enough I decided this would be the year of yes. Yes to more adventure. Saying yes to things that excite me and push me to get out of my comfort zone. Mostly to learn to let go of things I cannot control and living in the moment.
I will work on being a kinder human being with less judgement; but some of you make it really hard. I’ll pray for you. And me.
I will work on stopping my mouth from saying things before my brain thinks it through; but I like to be just as surprised as you are about what just came out. I like to believe I have the spirit working in me and sometimes the message needs to come out. You may not like it but it doesn’t mean I don’t mean it from a good place. Most of time.
I have learned that mean girls are every where. They will continue to show up in my life as lessons. Lessons on standing up for myself and letting that shit go. Lessons in throwing mud in their eye because some people just don’t know when to stop until you do. I tell my daughter almost every day as she leaves for school, “Be kind, but take no shit.” I think that’s the only lesson I need to keep carrying forward with me.
Cheers to another trip around the sun. Laugh more and loud. It’s contagious. Be yourself and speak your truth. You will find your tribe and you will let go of those not meant to be in your tribe. Keep growing and challenging yourself to be better than you were yesterday. Say yes to adventure, whatever that looks like for you. If we cross paths, which I hope we continue to do, I have a high five for you followed by a hell yes. We all need a pep talk and nothing is more grounding than a high five.
Oh and eat the damn cake.