Moving.

Did you know we moved? Well we did. We bought a house and moved down the street. Same town. Same street. Just down the hill. It wasn’t how I planned. At all.

First of all, the house buying process hit so many speed bumps and brick walls. We persevered and with some help; we finally defeated all those road blocks and got into a complete mess of a house with good bones.

In my dream brain I had this fantasy on how moving was suppose to go. We had a good portion boxed so I had this idea; we could move some in the garage and then when we went to move the rest would be so easy. I had this slow move, organized process all set in my mind. I wasn’t worried. It was going to be fine. I should know me better by now. That’s now how any of it and none of it would have got done if it wasn’t for a horse trailer (that’s country for u-haul), my family and lots of deep breaths.

What happened was 3 days of frantic packing and moving. Moving boxes from house to horse trailer and repeating the process until exhaustion. You never know how much you have until you have to pack it up and put into boxes. I won’t be able to find most of my things until next year. Our garage is smaller so now it looks like an episode of hoarders. I want to call the women from The Home Edit and have them come in with containers and rainbow my whole space. I do have the next best thing, my sister. She doesn’t get paid and she has to deal with my shit ass attitude; but she is the organizing queen. She will also toss without remorse and tell me that I have too much shit and I need to get rid of some of it. Obviously or I wouldn’t be in this disaster where I can’t find my shampoo!

I have also been told they are never moving me again.

The bright side is I get to unpack. I am going to get to settle into this house and this life. I loathe change and crave stability. I understand why. My brain doesn’t do well in chaos or change. It panics and searches for any time in the past to give us some sort of grip on the situation; but it comes with the last few times we had to move and how much anxiety that caused. I have to breathe and remember I survived that and this is so much easier.

So my ADD brain starts to refocus on what we can do; which is unpack one box at a time and get side tracked by dirt on the floor. Unbox and remember that I have laundry in the washer. Unbox and look at all the wine glasses we now have on display on the shelf. Unbox and remember to be grateful and say thank you for this opportunity to grow and learn to adapt.

It’s all I can remember to do. In the midst of life; and I hope to have a lot left to live, is to remember it’s all apart of the journey. I will try to remind myself that I am not the organized person I would like to be and embrace the mess that I am.