My ex mother in law and I never really got along. I always said if she was who she was when she was being social, she would be a hell of a person. That wasn’t the case. She often came off bitter and unkind to me and made doing any sort of gathering uncomfortable at best. I was later told how much she loved me and she regretted any unkind treatment I may have received by her. To be clear, I hold no ill will towards her. I was going through some shit with her son and she was also in the middle of her own life issues, and believe it or not, I think that’s where she started to understand me more and I her.

When someone is unhappy though, whew, they try to drag everyone along with them. They can’t help but spread their little black cloud.

Get along while we can
Always give love the upper hand
Paint a wall, learn to dance
Call your mom, buy a boat
Drink a beer, sing a song
Make a friend, can’t we all get along

I am not saying I have always been a peach, but I have tried to be the juiciest. My moods become dark and I try my hardest not to lash out at every one in my path, I don’t always succeed. I am a November born baby so my moods and emotions roll off of me in waves. I get quiet. I get sulky. I also get pissed. I am the emotional one. That statement alone use to make me pout. Stomp my foot. Now. Now I understand. I am wonderfully made. I know when I need a nap or food. I now when I need a time out. And the best thing about me? You will never have to guess how I feel. I am still learning to use my words, but generally you will know.

Then there are some people who have been through so much in life and smile so bright you have to wear shades around them. They make life better just by knowing them.

One such example is someone I will forever be one my favorite people and a person who turned out to be more of a big sister in my life. We had the chance through her dad getting sick with cancer to get to know each other. By that I mean, we lived in a one bedroom shack that I was living in at the time. We had no choice but to move in their dad and take care of him. He wasn’t doing so well on his own. Pain has a way of clouding judgement.

He was sick with cancer and could no longer be trusted to self medicate the pain away. This was a stressful situation at best. After watching my mom go through it with her mom, I know this was not going to be an easy task for any one of us. Gratefully, there were five maybe six of us watching out for him at any given time. Did I mention my shack was maybe 1000 square feet? Did I mention we had two HUGE dogs. And a cat. So if you are keeping track at home: 2 dogs, 1 cat, 5 people.  Now not every one stayed there all at once all the time, but it was a good rotation. His daughter came to stay because she can’t help herself in her need to take care of everyone. So there we were. Two people thrown together in a tragedy and a love story. Because the love in that house for those few months was big. It was in the air and you could almost reach out and touch it. Lots of late nights. Lots of denying he was eventually going to pass from this Earthly plane. She and I hid in the garage from people, we fed my homeless people that we knew by name, and we drank wine.

That whole entire time I can’t recall us ever getting in a disagreement or fighting. And that can explain my fierce sisterhood with her. She is good down to her toes. She smothers you with love and will try to think of anything you might want or need before it even pops into your head. She does is it all with a smile and good spirit even after going through some life events that would stop you in your tracks.

I want you to stop and think about your life for a minute. We obsess with ourselves so this should be easy.  How are you carrying what life has thrown at you? Because we all have our shit. Every. One. Of. Us.  So are you carrying around and throwing your excuse of  “I can’t” because of something that happened to you in your past? Because you decided? You decided not to better yourself. You decided to not grow or be a light because you’d rather sit in the dark and cast blame?

Come on. That’s lame! That’s not living a life! That’s sitting in shit because it’s comfortable and easy. Who the hell wants to put in work to be a better person? ME! Geezus. All you HAVE to do is wake up every single day with a grateful heart. That’s it. Just be grateful.  To me it’s ridiculous to be pissed off all day long at some perceived grievance in your head, either talk about it and work it out or STFU about it. No. Just STFU. Every one is tired of hearing about it.

Everyone is certainly tired of walking around egg shells wondering what small thing will make you not talk to them this week.

Get over it. All of it. Get on with living your best life. Not the life you think someone owes you.