Don’t buy me a drink, I make my money
Don’t touch my weave, don’t call me “honey”
‘Cause I run my shit, baby

I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a girl or a woman or female. I am one, so it’s never far from my brain.

I think about it when I wake up and I fight my sports bra onto my body (which should count as a work out by the way!),to looking at myself in the mirror and realizing one day I look like I ate all the things; to the next day thinking I can pull off a magazine cover. My body is never the same day to day or week to week.

I would like to thank hormones. We are blessed with them. Aunt Flo comes for a visit and our bodies are thrown into hormone blender. We really don’t know what we want. We know we like chocolate and we are fat. That’s it.

Tell me one more time you gotta get you some of that
Sure I’ll slide on over, but you’re gonna get slapped. 

Are we nuts? We might be. On any given day we are prone to break downs. We may cry when we are pissed, frustrated, or happy.

The constant comparison to each other or the women we were ten years ago is never far from our thoughts. When we find that tribe where we feel safe; we are still prone to jealousy and mistrust. Or are we?

We still hold just a little back from even our bestest friends for fear of being judged. That some how she is the better person with the better life. The best thing is finding the women in your life you can trust with the mess. The women who gets it and realize we are all just trying to make it in this world. Even then, there are going to be disagreements and moments of not talking.

I don’t know you well but I know that look
And I can judge the cover ’cause I wrote the book
On losing sleep and gaining weight
On pain and shame and crazy trains

I am so lucky I have found some honest, fun, truth-telling women in my life. My friendships have grown and shifted over the years. I am fortunate they call me out, pick me up and love me when I’m not being very lovable.

And that’s the fiercest thing about being a woman. Our capacity to love is so big. We want to save all the animals, adopt all the children and create small villages.

If you piss us off; we will burn it all to the ground while chewing gum and twirling our hair.

Teenage me had so much rage and no where to put it. I had no idea what to do with all the emotions. Grown ass me still isn’t sure; I have just learned some things. The first thing I learned is not everyone or everything deserves a reaction. The second thing I learned is okay to have a reaction.

We are taught from a young age to be nice.

You need to be nice to her.”

No, I don’t need to be nice. Not when she’s being a raging bitch to me. Not all of us are going to be friends. And that’s okay.

I like being a girl. I like painting my nails. I also love my snap backs and my boots. I like pink fuzzy slippers and the sound of Boss 302. I also love the Hallmark channel, and I will watch Kill Bill over and over.

It’s complicated, messy and beautiful. And I wouldn’t change a thing.

So raise your glass….

Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.” – Unknown