Lend me your hand. Take my hand. Give me your hand.

I have said these phrases.

I have leaned in and taken someone’s hand when I needed guidance. I have offered my hand in guidance.

The hardest part is taking someone’s offered hand. It’s easier for most of us to say, “I will help you.”

Not the “I need help.”

I’ve become so independent that I have found myself so completely wore out from helping, listening and doing for others that I just have days I’m so overwhelmed; I sit and cry in my pick up. Yes, I cry in my pick up. The bathroom gets cold, I can still listen to the radio and the seat warmer is still on.

I’ve been working on my boundaries. No really. Turning off my phone by 9 pm. Getting off social media. I think that is the extent of it. It’s a work in progress.

Okay so I am a helper. I want to help you. I want you to feel better, to succeed, and to be more you than you’ve ever been!

However I’m a single mom.

But I’m not.

I have a family that is always there. I just have to ask. I have a friends that say to me “Here’s my hand, let me help.” And I do have a man who constantly reminds me I’m not really alone.

I want to say yes.

I want to lean in.

I start. Then I stop.

What’s the worst thing that could happen by letting someone help? My village would only get bigger. I wouldn’t be sitting in my pick up crying because I had to go to the grocery store. It’s a thing okay!

Learning to accept help and lean in is something we could all do more. It’s how families survived. It’s how for generations women gathered in a circle and gained advice from how to stop letting that boy walk on you or how to get your kids to stop peeing outside on a tree. And men gathered in the garage and did whatever it is they do in there ( probably circling back to the peeing on a tree thing). It’s people leaning in. Giving a hand. Lending a hand.

Now we have communities built on social media that do the same thing.

If you lean in. If you decide to take someone’s hand that says, “Hey, I can help.”

Stop being so judgey. Stop looking at someone doing more and judging her for doing it. Try asking for a hand. Try extending your hand.


Here take my hand. Yes, I’ll take your hand too. It’s always better when we lean in together.