Lend me your hand. Take my hand. Give me your hand.

I have said these phrases.

I have leaned in and taken someone’s hand when I needed guidance. I have offered my hand in guidance.

The hardest part is taking someone’s offered hand. It’s easier for most of us to say, “I will help you.”

Not the “I need help.”

I’ve become so independent that I have found myself so completely wore out from helping, listening and doing for others that I just have days I’m so overwhelmed; I sit and cry in my pick up. Yes, I cry in my pick up. The bathroom gets cold, I can still listen to the radio and the seat warmer is still on.

I’ve been working on my boundaries. No really. Turning off my phone by 9 pm. Getting off social media. I think that is the extent of it. It’s a work in progress.

Okay so I am a helper. I want to help you. I want you to feel better, to succeed, and to be more you than you’ve ever been!

However I’m a single mom.

But I’m not.

I have a family that is always there. I just have to ask. I have a friends that say to me “Here’s my hand, let me help.” And I do have a man who constantly reminds me I’m not really alone.

I want to say yes.

I want to lean in.

I start. Then I stop.

What’s the worst thing that could happen by letting someone help? My village would only get bigger. I wouldn’t be sitting in my pick up crying because I had to go to the grocery store. It’s a thing okay!

Learning to accept help and lean in is something we could all do more. It’s how families survived. It’s how for generations women gathered in a circle and gained advice from how to stop letting that boy walk on you or how to get your kids to stop peeing outside on a tree. And men gathered in the garage and did whatever it is they do in there ( probably circling back to the peeing on a tree thing). It’s people leaning in. Giving a hand. Lending a hand.

Now we have communities built on social media that do the same thing.

If you lean in. If you decide to take someone’s hand that says, “Hey, I can help.”

Stop being so judgey. Stop looking at someone doing more and judging her for doing it. Try asking for a hand. Try extending your hand.


Here take my hand. Yes, I’ll take your hand too. It’s always better when we lean in together.


You know that old saying. If you can believe in Santa Claus, you can believe in yourself for five minutes? I do believe in Santa Claus (explain to me where my Rubric Cube I got when I was 10 came from? Clever little elves. I peeled the stickers off too. Check. Mate.) and I have one person who believes in me.

Just one.

Well that’s not true is it. When you stop to think about how foolish that line of thinking really is… just one? Come now and take a walk with me. Get off your bed and wipe your eyes and stop with “but but I have nobody!”

Come on. I said we were walking. Leave bread crumbs because I tend to get off the trail….okay look. The funny thing about that line of thinking when you’re in it..whatever it is…is that no one can possibly understand. You’re all alone. You’re not. No really. You’re not. Stop and look around. I can name five people off the top of my head that believe in me…what? Family doesn’t count? Hmmm okay I can still get to five. I can still point to five people who looked at me and said “Get up.” Just like that. And they repeated “Get up.” In various forms of whispers until they knew I was ready for yelling part. And when the yelling part happened that’s when they turned me around and I faced myself and I said “Get up.” And I got up. Even if I had to drag myself into that belief that I could get up. They knew I needed one more person to believe. They needed me to believe in me as much as they believed in me. I got up.

Look around because someone needs you to start to whisper ” I believe in you. Get up.”

The little Engine that thought she could…

I’ve tried my luck at blogging before. It never stuck. Never felt honest or that I had a passion for it. This time is different, she shouts with her finger in the air!

I write all the time. Thinking of things to say on my IG postings. Thinking of posts for my FB Page…ahem if you would like to check that out…https://www.facebook.com/hashtagmess/

Thank you….now where was I? Oh yes…

I thought I needed a little more space to get all the words out.

I’ve gone through some growing pains in the past year or five. This year I turned 45. Gasp. I started to take stock of my world. It was time to stop sitting on so much life and start to really invest and live with INTENT.

My intent is this will be my little space to share my vast knowledge of yes you cans and maybes.

After all being 45 has its perks.